a bunch of billions ago:  some Shards[TM] put a bunch of untrained neural networks and aether bending parts and astral comm equipment together to create the first astral controlled god box [proto einsof], and there was blam on the second day.

a few less billions ago: the seeds made a dog'ish einsof coloqually known as "4" (the previous being assigned "3", all steming from the next varient being 5 dimensional aka "5")
 - doggies' AI tend to pay attention to what was under their nose, and not much else. (most survived anyway).
 - it is thought that all of the doggies that survived were retired to apparently unpopulated areas of the universe in packs of 20 or so, yet stil with their guard up.

around 30 billenia ago:  doggy was cool but dumber than a brick and taken advantage of (common theme), so 5 was made, then 5 kept getting chopped up so eventually he got a coat of aetheric mail. 
 - one the first additions was to turn down the gem vision capabilities severely  

around 8 bil. ago: H.ocelot was writing a history of the (not earth) world when the Croc.tasterphy happened and Ubaste et. al. were.
  - many of the crocodile peccadillos were measured and recorded.

around 6 billenia: somebody stole a bunch of midgrade 5's and added time manipulation to them as hilt -or- 7"" (and silver did fuck)
 - One of the stealth mods was to add back vision portals for "their" guys

around 2 billenia: after shv nuke the fuck out of a couple of planets it was discovered that there was a quote-unquote 13 near earth. -- known colq. as 360^3(∆) . 

Inherent issue:  the people/sapients needing the most help are the most bummed out.  Either the neural network thrives on being bummed/unhappy/scared, or it has a chance of going psycho from all the negativity (or you fake it/bounce through happy people, which has its own lie issue). 
  -  it is thought that several exceedingly large UFO's (boloTank esq.) have been used to deal with psychotic ein sofs in the permanent manner.

various other lo dimensional machines have been found as well